Happy Couple

Marriage and Relationship Counselling

Marriage or any intimate relationship is like an empty box. We must put in something before we can start to take out anything. Both the people involved in the relationship must put in love, trust, habit of giving, praising, and making some adjustments to keep the box full. If we start to take out more than we are putting in, then the box will be empty. Emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy is the core of any such bond.

Affordable help for your marriage or relationship issues

In every relationship there are conflicts at one point of time or another but when these conflicts become challenging to resolve and other issues like managing finances, infidelity, lack of intimacy surface up then this can create problems. If the partners, try communicating in a constructive manner to resolve these issues then it can help bringing them together rather pulling apart. Research has shown that negative communication styles can destroy a relationship.

 

Four Horseman

Dr John and Julie of Gottman Institute created The Four Horseman of Apocalypse metaphorically used to recognize and navigate four counterproductive behaviours that if not changed, can end a relationship:

 

  1. Criticism: Attacking your partner’s personality or character rather than his or her behaviour. These comments can make a person on receiving end feel attacked, rejected, and hurt.

  2. Defensiveness: This is typically a response to criticism. When you feel attacked by your partner then you immediately go into self-protecting mode by playing an innocent victim so that the other person will back off. It becomes a problem because no one it ready to take responsibility for the circumstances.

  3. Contempt: It is the feeling of superiority where we communicate with our partner in a mean way by disrespecting, mocking them with sarcasm, ridiculing, name calling, mimicking or using body language like eye rolling or scoffing. The target here is to make the person feel despised and worthless.

  4. Stonewalling: This is typically a response to contempt. Stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the conversation and refuses to engage in it anymore. The objective is to avoid the confrontation and create a sense of distance and separation, but it seldom works.


This pandemic and living in quarantine have also put strain on many marriages. As it is, people are dealing with many pressures, worries and anxieties during this time. Couples spending extended time with each other has on one hand strengthened the bond between some, but on the other hand it has also worked as a catalyst for break ups in many of the relationships. Several lawyers in Singapore have stated that they have had more divorce application related enquiries since the start of the circuit breaker.

 

Problem with Communication


It is not always necessary to opt for counselling only when a couple is having problem in their relationship. They can also do it to understand their partner in a better way or transition peacefully out of a relationship. There are many reasons why a couple seek marriage counselling including but not limited to the following:

  • Communication with each other has worsen.

  • Feeling of insecurity and loss of trust in relationship

  • Feeling indifferent towards your partner

  • Feel contempt, anger, and resentment towards each other

  • There is nothing common between the couple

  • Feel that they need to live separately

  • Infidelity, addiction, or abuse in the marriage

  • Children seem to be the only common platform of communication


Counselling is a medium that provides a safe space for a couple to discuss their concerns and work through it. It aims at providing better communication, stable family life, emotional wellbeing, sense of safety and the feeling of being heard. No marriage is perfect, but counselling is a successful tool to bring it back on track if need be.

Get Help Now

Before it gets worst, let us help you process and validate your feelings, identify triggers, stressors, and contributing factors that may have put you in distress leading to marital and relationship issues. We will explore effective coping skills, communication skills, stress and anxiety management as well as mediating the various miscommunication or misunderstanding that will help you excel better in your relationship and to meet your relationship expectations or responsibilities effectively.